Profile of Snowrygal

Last blog

2006-12-15T21:40:00.000+08:00

Wont be using this blog in future anymore.... Take care everyone

2006-12-15T00:30:00.000+08:00

Just forward a sms to my friend and surprisingly he sms back two minutes later saying thanks and have a good rest etc. Thought that i woke him up with my sms but luckily nope. He is just about to sleep. Heng. He told me he had a bad day, everything went just wrong. Hope that everything will be fine for him and that he will be able to find his dog soon. Hope that the person who found his dog, will be kind enough to return.

2006-12-13T19:32:00.000+08:00

Today was suppose to meet up with Yuxiu at 12pm at AMK mrt but she sms me and tell me she will be 30 mins late because she overslept. So in the end, i was there waiting for her for half and hr. While waiting for her, i saw one of my patient who used to stay in my ward before.

We went to Orchard. Actually wanted to buy a new phone de but the salesperson say that i need to pay another 100 dollars cos my current line only 14 months. Kinda broke so in the end, i went off. I will definately buy that phone but maybe still need to wait awhile more ba.

After that we went to TPY to sing k box. Though it is only 2 hrs, but we had fun singing. Haha. Quite an enjoyable day today.

2006-12-01T03:00:00.000+08:00

Just came back from meeting with Ivan, Xinying and Yuxian for a dinner. Was suppose to meet Xinying at the mrt, then so concidentally i saw Yuxian while waiting there. As we were walking to the place where we were going for dinner, felt that Yuxian is abit left out by us, so i try to signal to XY to talk to him.

While we reached there, Yuxian called Ivan. He just woke up only but he said that he will be going. Kinda happy. So nice of him to go although he is post call. He reached about 8pm like tat.

After that, XY went home cos she on morning shift though. So sad she never join us for movie. So Ivan, Yuxian and me went to watch open seasons. Quite a nice show. Hehe. Then Ivan drove us home. Poor him, Have to drive to AMK then Tampines then back to his house. He asked me normally whether i am so quiet. But i did told him lately sometings happened which i quite troubled lor.

Overall, did enjoyed myself. Next time can ask them and maybe Flora, Melvin and Ziying out also .

2006-11-10T19:00:00.000+08:00

It has been a while since i last blogged. There has been ups and downs. Lets talk about the happier things. Yesterday on my way to work, got a sms from Zonghui asking how am i? Quite happy to hear from him again because he is always busy with his work de. Hehe.

Went to ward slightly earlier. Heard bad news frm Renuka that there will be a exchange cos one baby's sb is very high. Was wondering who is the ho on call, he is sitting at the computer side, cant see the face. Realised it was Dr Melvin. Kinda glad.

Actually there is only 2 admissions throughout the whole night in my ward. But one of them need to do LP. We were in the room for one hr i guess. Doing in out cath, blood culture and LP for the baby. Poor us, we accounted some things from that baby. Haha.
Heard from him that he is not coping well in ward 76 and seemed rather demoralised. Do hope he will cheer up soon. I am sure he will be able to do it.
He did not have any rest i guess because of the blood transfusion in ward 55 also. Every 4 hrs, have to take blood etc. Poor him.

Just receive a msg frm him in msn saying thanks for all the help and company etc. It is nice having him around too. Tried consoling him about him being in his ward and in the end he consoled me instead. Saying not to lose hope even though sometimes the going gets tough in the ward.Haha. Really nice of him. Got to go. Hope tonight will be a good nite shift.

2006-10-30T00:31:00.000+08:00

Zonghui just called me using his hospital number. Actually dont feel like picking up the call cos is a unfamilar number. He is really a nice friend. Sms him telling him i have difficulty in breathing and he called me back asking how i am? He is concern lor. Ask me to go see GP etc or maybe go A and E but he tell me ttsh a and e quite packed now. I told him i dont want to go then he advised me to sleep at my parents room instead so there will be someone to keep a look out for me in case something happened.

This breathless have been coming on and off. Really hope there is nothing wrong with my health. Though i work in a hospital, I dont really like to see docs and kind of afraid of them. Haha. Maybe one day should ask a doc friend to check for me ba.

Anyway hope Zonghui will have a good call also. Take care. Dunnoe will you be reading my blog or not, but thanks. Really appreciate ur care as a friend. You are always there when i am sad, when i sms u, u will ask whether i feeling better etc? Dont be too busy with ur work la, go find a gf to take care of u. Hehe. You will meet a good gal de.Really happy to know you as my friend.Take care and god bless u.

2006-10-29T01:45:00.000+08:00

I think i really suffered from insomia and is a really bad one. Who can cure me? Supposed to be working morning shift today and have to get up at 5.20am but here i am, still blogging.

Going to the end of this month already, Guess i dont leave any good impression to the hos in my ward because i always ask them to review patients etc. But never mind la, dont want to bother too much also.

Just read a friend's blog, he said that whenever he got feelings for someone, there is 80 percent chance that she is attached or attracted to someone. I just hope that he wont give up on someone he like lor.Try and try again. Even if u dont succeed for the first time, u will surely succeed one day. You will always have the support of me this friend.

As for me, i dont want to think of anything anymore nor am i going to try because the people whom i really came to be interested in are either attracted to someone or single for some various reasons. Think i just let time tells. If i am fated to be single for the rest of my life, so be it. Some times when u love someone, even if u cant be with that person, u can be their friend, their secret guardian angel, praying for them wishing them well and happiness. Arent i right to say that.?

Hope to work with Flora, Yuxian and Melvin again but i think it is impossible because none of them are going to choose peds in future. Wishing that they will choose our ward again for their last month posting in kk. But guess hos wont because my ward is the busiest ward i think. Haha. Unless they try to put as their choice, if not i think is gonna be difficult ba.
Yu xian, Hope u will have a good call today. Take care

2006-10-26T16:01:00.000+08:00

Just came back from work, really exhausted because i have not been sleeping well lately. Today went i went to work, there is 6 empty beds from the night shift. Good thing that we did not admit any in the morning. Phew...Hehe.

Not in a very good mood though. Kenna scolded for nothing. Hai. Never mind. Assisted Dr Kristine for blood taking for one of my patient. I did something stupid. When i took away the sharps, one of the tube with blood kana spilled off. Luckily there is one extra tube in her folder. I felt quite bad actually. Thankfully we no need to poke her again. Phew.. Hehe.
When i was giving my patient iv antibiotics at 10am, I gave using syringe driver. Then the mother was asking me why last few days they give burette one. I tried explaining to her but like no use. She keep making things difficult for us.Hopefully her child do discharge soon.

Did my two night shift on 20th and 21th Oct. First night was 13 empty beds. We thought that it will be a horrible night but we only admitted 4. Hehe. Second night was 11 empty beds. We admitted 2 cases. Actually should have one more case to be admitted, but in the end they cancelled in A and E. Hehe. Kind of like this type of night shift where not much admission. But poor Jerlyn, her side two nights got blood transfusion. Poor her, so busy.

Who want to accompany me watch movies? HAHA. Kinda bored lately. My treat la. Let me know if any one free to go. HEHE. Got to go rest now. Take care.

2006-10-19T20:09:00.000+08:00

It has been a few days since i last blog. Been 4 days of returning to work after my annual leave. It has been really nice seeing the kids again. Guess i really love children alot. Hehe. Everything was well till today.

Today i was in charged of bed 1 to 12. While following doctors round, no one notice about the changes of milk regarding bed 11 and 12. It seemed that the changes was made yesterday afternoon. The afternoon staff never pass to the night staff and thus i got scolded by Sister Tan. I really got very upset because i was scolded by her when i dont even have any idea about it. Hai, when she is bad mood, she can really find fault with everyone. Sob Sob.
Doctor Wong saw my eyes are red due to crying, Say want to buy me chocolates but in the end never. HAha.

At about 11.45am, they suddenly decided to do a BMA for my bed 4. After it was done, i saw the mother crying. Feel rather sad, Hope she can be brave for her son. Then bed 17 our old patient also for BMA at 1pm. It was a really busy day at work. Hope my night shift on friday and saturday will be a better and peaceful one.

2006-10-14T23:55:00.000+08:00

Yesterday met up with Luoling, Been quite sometimes never seen her already. She had been busy with her exams. This cousin of mine getting prettier each day. Met up with her at bishan around 12.30pm then we headed down to plaza singapura.

The movie we wanted to watch is at 4.25pm. So we went for our lunch at long john silver then after that just walk around there. At around 3.30pm, she wanted to eat icecream at Bens and Jerry, So we went over there. Haha. My treat again.

Watched Rob-B-hood at Cathay, very nice show. The baby is also very cute. Hehe. Dont mind watching it again. This movie can really cheer a person up when someone is sad. Really a show worth watching.

Said something out which is meant to be a secret by myself. Kinda regret it. Anyway be the happy u that u used to be. I can see you really love her alot, No matter what happens. Good or bad, u will always have the support of me this friend. Jiayou. Hope things will be looking good for u. If you miss her, just drop her a sms. Even if things don turn out the way u want, u will know that at least you have tried. Jiayou always.

2006-10-11T18:10:00.000+08:00

Let me blog about something happier. I finally bought a digital camera on monday when i went out with Wendy. Yeah. Loves it so much though few hundreds dollars gone from my bank. Something i wanted to get so much and finally got it. Still trying to figure out how that camera works though, those functions which seem quite difficult.

Went out with her on Monday. Wanted to go Vivocity but due to our disappointment when we went there, most shops were still not opened. Perhaps because it just opened. Anyway planning to go there in dec ba cos most shops will be opened by then.Then we proceed to Bugis to shop. Though we cant find any nice clothes, i felt quite happy to meet her cos we are both busy at work.Wanted so much to catch the movie Rob-b-hood but she do not want to.
ANY ONE WANT TO CATCH THE MOVIE WITH ME? MY TREAT?

Spent my day today thinking of what u had said. You are right, Life is very important. i will learn to cherise everyone important to me and i will try to be a better friend and nicer person in future. Wont want to make anyone sad anymore. Thats my motive. Though is hard, but i am willing to try. Anyone to support me.?

2006-10-11T07:06:00.000+08:00

He went to work without having any sleep all thanks to me, such a horrible friend. Quite upset actually cos he called the ward asking for my home number. I am quite worried that i might lose my job but come to think of it, he cared for a friend even how i treated him badly. I felt so horrible.

I even made him very worried. He is a friend whom i really treasured very much.Sorry. If there is a chance, i hope to be friends with u again, Give me a chance to repent from my mistakes. Hope things will be like last time once again where we used to joke around.

2006-10-10T07:40:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 6am today, Got scolded early morning for forgetting to off my lights while i fell asleep. Is just merely 4 hrs. She is just being unfair, if that is my younger bro, she wont scold de lor.Any way got a reply sms from my friend around 6.20am, saying that he will keep his comments to himself in future, asking if i happy? Sigh it really hurt me alot

Tried calling him but he keep hanging up. Only when i use my house number to call then he answered. Why do i felt so horrible in my heart.

This one month plus of knowing him, been trying to cheer him up cos i know he like a certain gal but that gal got a boyfriend already. Trying my best to make him happy as a friend but think it become worse. I am making him think that i want to give up the friendship which is not true. I am someone who really treasure relationships etc. Perhaps i am not being a nice friend, cant even cheer a friend up, always causing others sadness instead. I had failed. Instead of making him happy, i gave him all the unhappy feelings.

To that someone, i know u will be reading this blog, i am sincerly sorry about what had happened lately. Causing u all the unhappiness in your life. U have been a great friend, accompanying me to chat on msn etc. Really appreciate it. Hope things will turn out fine for u. Remember if u ever need someone to confide to, can always come find me.Dont worry about your love life.Since u are such a nice guy, u will confirm find ur true love one day. Do keep smiling. Be the cheerful you which i first got to know. Take care

2006-10-10T01:30:00.000+08:00

Just received a sms from Zonghui around 12.45am, giving me some encouraging words. I really appreciate it. He really came to read my blog when he know i had been quite demoralized lately though i never told him why and he is supposed to work early morning tomorrow. Hope things are turning out fine for him. :)
Feeling rather lost in my thoughts now. Having a week break of from my work. Supposingly,should be a happy thing but i feeling rather troubled. Sometimes i wish that there will be a person who is willing to hear all bout it.

Anyway what is love? A feeling that u would rather sacrifice yourself to make that person happy?Though u know that u will be doing things that will make urself sad, u will still do. Wishing that he or she will always be well and things will turn out good for them? Perhaps the saying is right, " IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE, U DO NOT NEED TO BE WITH THAT PERSON, WHAT MOST IMPORTANT IS HE OR SHE WILL ALWAYS BE HAPPY"
I wish i do stand a chance but i know it is never possible de, is just a dream out of mine. I will just be there whenever he need anyone.

Anyway dear friends, i guess i wont be blogging and going online that often anymore in future, wishing all of u the best in whatever u do and stay happy always.

Unhappiness :(

2006-10-08T16:07:00.000+08:00

Yesterday i seemed to be much more quieter than my usual self. Xinying noticed and asked me what had happened but i reply saying that i am fine, nothing happened.

Dr Loo came to our ward about 4pm to see us. So nice of him, Post call still come down see us, guess he got plenty of things to do ba. Didnt notice him till i came out after giving iv antibiotics to one of my patient. Haha. No chance talk to him also cos he was too busy talking with Rohana and Xinying.
Went for an early dinner with Xinying, Jacqueline and him. Didnt talk much during the conversation. Mostly listening to what they were saying. Really no mood ba. He said i seemed like slightly distant and seemed like do not want to sit near him or talk to him. Sorry to give u the wrong idea.

Around 7.15pm while we were serving medication, One of the patient's relative rush out and shouted that someone fell. Jacqueline, Xinying, Dr Ng and me quickly rush to bed 16. Did a stat spo2, ECG etc. Everything was normal. He already seem very dowsy since afternoon thats why we put up the cot side but according to one of my patient, he pull down the cot side himself. Sigh. Hope he will be alright soon.

Today something sad happened, i really broke down. Bed 12 mother came and ask me why i scolded her son. I was trying to tell her that i tried alot of times talking to her son nicely but he keep ignoring and is quite rude lor. I know i shouldn do that but she is wrong to accuse me of something which i never even do. She accused me of scolding bed 16 patient whom fell yesterday. I never did and i really felt hurt to be wrongly accused.

Lately things are really making me demoralized. Though i really love kids alot but how long more can i really survive. I really dont know. Perhaps i am not a good nurse after all.

September Hos!!!

2006-10-02T09:25:00.000+08:00

Today will be my last day seeing them in my ward. After passing report, somethings are left undone cos the on call doc ordered some things which never even told me. Passed them each chocolates which i bought for them. Kinda happy to see all of them for the last time.

Dr Flora---- On the first day of her posting in our ward, she is so kind enough to help us do the presciption and mc those which is left undone de. Then slowly got to know her better, she is a very sweet and friendly lady. Will be a very good doctor.

Dr Loo Yuxian--- This guy join us halfway through his posting. First time i saw him was that time he supposed to be on call the previous night and he is supposed to review a patient ventolin puff at 7am. I was working in the morning and in charged of that patient. I ask him how, then he replied saying wait for morning rounds. Haha.That time really find him abit blur. But got to know him better, find that he is a very cheerful doctor who is always seen smiling. Will make a good friend de. Someone who will be very good to his gf if he has one ba....

Dr Melvin---- Still remember the first day in our ward, He kept telling me that he is very worried and scared and that day he stayed backed all the way till 7pm to read through the cases. I was like so shocked. He can be so stress till like that. Got to know him better, he seem to be those cool type of guys. Anyway assisted him a few times in plugs and taking blood for patients, his practical is good.

Dr Goh Ziying---- Hmm dont really know her very well. Didnt really interact that much with her then the other hos. All i can say is she is quite a nice doc.

Gotta miss this batch of hos alot. All of them will be going to their respecive wards. 65, 66, 86 and 85. Guess no chance to work with them anymore cos all of them wont choose peds in future. Wishing them all the best... You all can do it de.... Jiayou

2006-09-28T22:25:00.000+08:00

Today morning shift was quite alright. But i had a patient who went for cardiac cath at 8.30am. Got so angry cos the staff downstairs scolded me for nothing and poor Dr Flora have to go down cos one part of it never sign. Felt so bad.

Noticed that Dr Melvin's mood was not very good today. Thats why dont really dare to disturb him today. When my patient came back from cardiac cath, i got no choice but to find him cos other hos are rather busy. Tried asking him what happened, i think he is upset about being on call on weekends ba and that everyone is asking him to do things.

Hope he cheer up soon.

2006-09-25T23:09:00.000+08:00

Today i was in charge of bed 13 to 24. Kinda very stress up when taking over cos very blur. When Xin Ying was preparing one of the medication which she forgot to serve, she broke down and cry. I really felt very bad.I broke down too. Siti told me she is left all alone. Hai. Shouldn have been too harsh on her. Hai. Some more she a very nice gal whom i knew ever since she is in year one. Xin Ying, i am sorry. Hope u will forgive me. I believe u will be able to make it de, dont worry too much. I have faith in you.

While i was following rounds, i think Dr Loo noticed that my eyes are red. He asked me is there anything he can help:? Maybe he thought i was stressed up. Thanks for asking anyway.

Quite a disaster today at my side today. One patient last minute want to AOR. Then another patient supposed to go home at 5pm but suddenly got fever. Then the mum was not happy and came out making noises. Hai.

Any way , Dr Flora is on call today. Hope she will have a good call.

Xin Ying, IF u happen to see this, i am really sorry. Hope u can forgive me. I want be someone u can feel free to ask any thing at work if i can help u.

2006-09-22T15:00:00.000+08:00

Today is my post night. Just came back from watching movie with Yuxiu. Haha. Feel so tired now. My first night was horrible. There is 10 admissions in total, five on each side. Never had i have so many admissions at night. Sian. Second night was ok. Only got one admission on each side. hehe. GTG. too tired. will update again.

2006-09-15T22:52:00.000+08:00

Today around 9am, i sms him wishing him a very happy birthday. He replied an hr later saying thanks for the present but sigh he is sick. Any way he is on leave now. So i ask him whether when did he receive the parcel and whether he likes it but there is no response. Sigh. Guess perhaps he dont like it ba. Should i learn to give up? I do have feelings for him but guess i am not meant to be lucky to be with him.

Received a call from Shuhui around 6pm, she told me that she went to see Laiyeena and most probably she can be discharged tomolo. Its good that she is much better and i prayed that she will be going home tomolo because she been staying in the hospital for such a long time and i believe she will be very happy when she finally goes home.

Bed 9 also went back today. Will definately miss her, her sisters and her mum. Avery nice family. Hope to see them again in future but of cos not in kk hospital la...

2006-09-13T22:31:00.000+08:00

Hmm today got 3 admission during my shift. How more all the patients that came in needs drip de. sigh. Ha.Dr Melvin very funny, got one patient need two nurses to hold de. When i go in to help, he managed to get the blood and set plug. Then joke say i am his lucky star. HAHA. Guess his call tonight will be a better one than the previous time where he got 9 admission at night. Stayed back to do the dressing for bed 19. Then kenna nagged by sister sim . Sigh. Say wat i dunno how to prioridise my work. She mad ar. My three admission all come in from 11pm onwards. Wanted to do the dressing after the gal bathe de but in the end she never bathe.

Yesterday quite lucky for me. bed 17 and 18 were empty during my shift and i never admitted any. But poor Shu hui, in total i only got 5 cases to pass to her and most of it kiv 5pm de.

On monday, i was working afternoon shift. Around 8 plus at night, one of my patient aunty came to ask about the condition. As Dr Chuah was on call, i told the aunty that the doc will speak to her in a short while as she is clerking new case. She make a fuss and say wanted to complain me. Sigh. I told patient information is confidential and only docs can say? I hope nothing will happen ba...

Life is short

2006-09-10T23:18:00.000+08:00

Went to see a doc regarding my back on 7th sep. She suggested doing an xray for the lumbar region. The report was ok but dunno why up till now is still rather pain. Sigh. Hope will get well soon.

Was off today. Spend my day sleeping at home. HAha. dunno why so tired. Just receive a sms from my collegue, Jerlyn. She said that one of the patient in the ward just passed away. Sigh. he become unresponsive around 5pm and passed away in ward 65 around 10pm. Sigh. his wish about seeing the airplane thing on tues is gone. Though he always ask us nurses for turning, sometimes we are really very mad with him but come to think of it, he cant help it. If he can move, i believe he wont trouble us also. Gui Sheng do leave in peace.
He was alright yesteday and he just passed away today.

Life is really very short. Do treasure your friends and family...

2006-09-06T22:25:00.000+08:00

It has been a while since i last blogged. Quite a lot of things happened recently but really too tired to blog. On 31th and 1st sep, the first night was with Dr Teng. Dunno isit i offend her or what , because she dont really seem to like to be on call with me. Anyway it was ok. Only got one admission at my side but hai got one patient keep asking us to turn him every 15 mins.

Second night was with Dr Tan Yihua. Got three admission, all from my side. but not tat bad cos all came in almost the same time. Sigh. Wanted to ask for his msn but forgot.

Had a bad fall yesterday at home. The floor so wet and yet no one bother to wipe off. Sigh. i never noticed and slip. Still very painful. I really hope i never injured my spine. Hope amk polyclinic can do xray de. Listen to him. GO do an xray though i really worried.

Pray for me please......

2006-08-08T21:18:00.000+08:00

Today morning i thought Agnes morning shift but in the end found out she still working afternoon shift because there is no senior in the afternoon. Today is her last day at work, passed her two little gifts. Hope she will like it.

Then after work, i accompanied Shimin, Xin Ying and Faridah to go buy something for her. HA, saw her downstairs. So qiao. After they passed her the gift they bought, she cried. Hai.

Felt so sad that she is leaving. All the good collegues are all leaving one by one. Any way Agnes, If u happened to read this blog of mine, I wish u all the best and keep in touch ya? remember to ask me out when u are free. Really happy to know you as my friend and collegue. Take Care gal...

Yesterday saw Dr Loh Wenyin, HEHE. So long never seen her. aiyo me so blur. went into the mo room to find dr ng then thought Dr Loh is Dr Chong. HAHA. DUNNo what happened to me..Hope she not angry with me... HEHE

2006-07-29T21:53:00.000+08:00

Lately been very tired, think really lacking of sleep. Sigh. Smsed him at night asking how is he lately? Heard that things are not going on well for him. He said his pr skills sucks and got complained by patient relatives. And he is quite upset and demoralised. Tried calling him to find out hw he is doing but he never answered the phone. Guess he is really sad. Hope he will be fine soon. Will remember him in my prayers.

Going on night shift tomolo and monday. Hope both days will be a peaceful one.

2006-07-24T22:58:00.000+08:00

Fauziah was mc today. Poor Agnes had to give all the iv medication.Cant stand that "Sister" aka Mother in law- what my collegues always call her. She came as early as 7am today. Firstly kana scolded by her, saying i nv follow up with my patients medication etc. Secondly the ot person called up to send my patient down for op then she ask me to call them to bring up the tolley. Sigh. In the end She send down with XinYing and XiaoYan.

When my patient came back from ot, I just want to see my case notes etc to see what is required for the patient. Then she scolded me asking me not to touch it. Sigh. She is really getting on my nerve. Then lastly i want to giv the iv antibiotics to her at 2pm, She ask why i nv giv earlier. The patient came back around 1pm then she is so busy with Shuhui. Still want to scold. No wonder no body likes her and everyone is leaving the ward already.

Poor Agnes. Today never went for break. Cos she needs to assist doc for long line insertion. HOpe she will have a break tomolo and wont be so busy. GAL, if u are reading this , Thanks alot for ur help today.

2006-07-20T23:06:00.000+08:00

Today my sleeping day after two night shift. My first night was ok. Got 3 to 4 empty beds on my side but admit one only. Dr Qiaoyun came to our ward. Managed to exchange msn and hp number. Sian, poked myself with a needle again while i am withdrawning iv cloxacillin. Hopefully, nothing will happen.

Second night was kind of horrible. Sent a patient down to ct brain. Luckily though the results are ok. two new admittion. Both came in quite late. 4 plus and 5 in the morning. Sigh. Going to rest now. bye

2006-07-10T18:05:00.000+08:00

Fell asleep earlier while waiting for the soccer match to start. At about 12.41am, i was woken up by a sms. It was from him asking if i have recovered or not. i was happy to receive his sms.

My throat is becoming worse. Going to lose my voice real soon i guess. Then keep having on and off migraine which lasted only few secs everytime. Hope can get well soon, dun wana get mc again. Got to work night shift today. Hope will be a peacerful day at work.
Tata. Hope everyone will have a good day ahead.

2006-07-05T22:37:00.000+08:00

Today went dinner with my parents but sigh they are not on speaking terms. Both ignoring each other. I went to j8 to walk by myself after that. I sms him telling him what had happened. On my way home, i received a sms from him asking what had happened etc. I told him then after that i guess he was busy so thats why no reply. Anyway i thanks him for his listening ears.

Quite surprised, i got a call from him around 8.43pm. Though it is a merely 9 mins 17 secs chat, He really comfort me and make me feel much better. Thanks alot. HEHE. Hope u take care too.

2006-07-04T21:16:00.000+08:00

Today was my off day. Got a call from the ward around 11 plus in the morning, they wanted me to go back to work in the afternoon but i not feeling very well so i said cant.

Sms him around 11 plus and there was no reply. around 7pm, i msg him again.He replied once. then after that no reply anymore. I send him a sms asking if i offended him in anyway or wat and i kinda miss the sms he used to send quite frequently last time.He replied this. Ai yo. wish you would treat me as a normal friend. so sorrydid nt reply was rushing work , just finished work.

Hai, dont feel too good. hope things will turn out better. praying really hard that miricles do happen

Happy Birthday to me!!

2006-06-25T22:32:00.000+08:00

Today morning i sms him wishing him a good morning. About 10am, i got a simple sms from him but i am really happy. It really made my day.

This is what he typed: Happy birthday. Numbers 6:24-26: The lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.
Do not understand the meaning but really happy he did sms.

Met Wendy at Payar Lebar mrt, She was late for 30 mins. She told me wat had happened. Her mum's throat was swollen and they brought her to ttsh. They say got water retention. She is very worried that it is cancerous. First time i saw her crying. Hai. I hope Wendy's mother will be fine. Be praying for her.

She paid for the clothes we bought first. When i wanted to pay her back, she refused. Hai. Thanks alot gal. Then after that we went to City Hall and shop and had our dinner. Left the place around 9.30pm.

Special thanks to my friends who remembered my birthday and send me greetings: Zonghui, Alwyn, Wendy, Kevin, Chris, Luoling, Nicholas, Huimin,Kelvin, Weijie, Hendry and to those whom i forgotten.

I wish my birthday wish for this year will come true one day.

Confessed my feelings...

2006-06-24T23:49:00.000+08:00

At around 9.30pm, i really plucked up my courage to sms him a sms which was actually meant for him but was kept in my hp for a very long time.Actually dont really dare to see wat is the reply but after a few mins, i finally see...

This was wat he tyed in the sms....... Silly girl we are always brother and sister in Christ:) and seriously im just not ready for anything. And yes we are still friends....

Actually quite happy he stil treat me as friends. Hope one day he will give me a chance...Praying hard

2006-06-24T02:25:00.000+08:00

Now is 2.20am already and yet i cant sleep. Something had been in my mind for a very long time. Anyway he is working now, on call now. Hope he can managed to get some rest... Really misses his sms which he sent me quite often last time...... Another 2 days will be my birthday, i know he wont be free to go out with me, but i really hope he remembered my birthday and wish me a happy birthday... Hope he will be fine always.........

Disappointment once again:(

2006-06-06T22:47:00.000+08:00

Reached kk about 1pm, while i was passed delifrance, someone waved at me. i looked in and guess wat, i saw little Huien and her parents... Its so nice to see her again....

About 1.30pm, i plucked up my courage to ask him out on my birthday.... I thought the response will be good but nope, he replied saying he is not certain. will get back to me... Likely he have to work in the morning and go church in the afternoon... I very disappointed and sad... Guess i gona give up le ba..and this will be my last time asking him out... Wont wana ask him again, scared of rejection from him

On my way down to buy dinner, saw Dr Chong on the way... She become more unfriendly... Dunno why... Is it all docs once become Mos will be like that.. I hope not....Got to go..

Bump on my head....

2006-05-19T22:03:00.000+08:00

Yesterday had a hit on my head, it was so painful till i cried at the moment, really feel very painful.. Sigh.... Got a sms from him at around 7 plus but i only replied after my work.... He very nice, replied saying dont worry and ask me to get home safely and ask whether i had my dinner. I was really happy that he cared ....... anyway hope we can go out again in future.

Mixed Feelings...

2006-05-17T22:55:00.000+08:00

Met up with Yuxiu to go kbox to sing... Got a call from my dad around 5.50pm asking if i want to go to bishan... I thought he wanted to go see my uncle who is in the hospital.. I found out that my uncle had passed away. Though i am not close to him but i am kinda sad lor......

While singing halfway at kbox, at around 6.20pm , i got a sms from him... Feel so happy when i saw his sms. He very poor thing, just finished his post call only.... I told him wat happened.......He is very nice... He replied saying that he will pray for me and my family......Hope i am ok....... WOW...really a nice guy......

Hope could go out with him soon...... Hope his flu had already recovered......

2006-05-14T22:19:00.000+08:00

Today work was rather ok, but those of my patients who can be discharged at 1pm, the parents was rather angry because they still could not go home because the doc finish doing the prescription very late......... Sigh....

I regretted that day sms him asking if he like anyone at the moment or not.....He did not reply tat sms at all... Luckily he still sms me ... But i am very upset cos now he always reply halfway then missing in action already..... Hope his flu could get better soon...... God bless

Disappointed

2006-05-10T15:02:00.000+08:00

On 8th May, my second night shift, i sms him asking how was his flu etc? Tried asking him when he is free to have dinner one day.... but his reply was not tat good... er not certain about it... seeing if he can get some rest these few days....

Went to the ward early, realised that there is 6 empty beds.... he say poor junior on call.... guess gona be busy but to my surprising i only admitted 2 patients the whole night.....Kinda glad..... Seem like Dr LOH luck is not bad......hehe....

do i still hope for the best? i really donnoe........ lets hope he will sms me soon ba..........

First time going out with him.

2006-05-06T22:24:00.000+08:00

Today met Kevin and we went to visit Huien.... She really dont seem to remember us already, kinda very grumby...(dunno how to spell)....... Punggol is really big, got lost in Punggol then after a while me and Kevin went off already..... We had lunch at compass point then later went to Plaza Singapura to watch movie.....

Then met Mr C... at Plaza Singapura at 7.10pm, we had dinner at a jap restaurant.... wanted to pay him back but he refused........ Then we go home liao... Sian so fast.... He accompanied me home.... right outside GRANDEUR 8....... I was so happy, since he is also sick....... Though it a short 2 hrs, but i enjoyed myself......Hope he wont feel bored going out with me lor......

Could he be the one for me? Haha... He is a nice guy...... hope he recover from his flu soon.......

New Docs

2006-05-03T22:09:00.000+08:00

Hmm today morning shift, went to work feeling very tired as i only had two hrs of sleep. Today hos and mos all nt gd de, some more prescibe bufen overdose for my patient, luckily i check with the parmacist.... Feeling very bored at work today, guess i miss the previous hos alot especially him cos i miss all the teasing we gave each other....Yeah, feeling so happy, he sms me around 6 plus in the evening. Only managed to see the sms at 8 plus cos i fell asleep then........

Yestday suddenly saw him, i suddenly feel so happy....Hehe... When following the doc round, he ask me is is i wear contact lens, then i told him my specs broke lor and ask him why he is not wearing specs at all.... He told me that he lost his specs...Poor thing..

Then after that i help him with the procedure in bed 29 lor....after finished, he say next time free go ttsh visit him la, but not as a patient, if not he going to set 5 iv nplug on me... haha. he ar, always make fun of me....... Ask him why he keep making fun of me, he say today last day already, if nt cannot make fun anymore.... sob sob

When we passing report halfway, suddenly saw him and Dr lee.....Stupid Jac, anyhw told him i miss him, then i say dont any how say.... when i wanted to ask him to change one of my patient paracetamol to sup..... Hope he wont get affected lor...

After that while waiting for my turn to pass the report, i tink i look very sian, Then Dr Chew laugh aat me... In The end when i reached home, i plucked up my courage to sms him. Luckily he dont mind...... Gona miss Them, Dr Cynthia, Dr Chew and Dr Crystal......

It A good thing Dr lee last day..... He really spoilt my day today...Scolded me like hell where it is not even my fault

2006-05-01T23:04:00.000+08:00

Today went to work without my specs because it is spoilt.... Heard from Dr Cynthia that today is their last day then she will be going cgh.... Quite sad. wont be seeing him again , no more teasing from him, guess i gona miss that... Never since him since thursday, wonder where he will be going to work....

Anyway today was rather a busy day, one of my collegue is sick, so poor Agnes and Haojuan have to be in charge of the whole ward. Then Dr LEE came and make a big fuss over some medication which arrived late and he demanded a incident report.... Mad ar him...Poor Agnes

2006-04-29T21:39:00.000+08:00

Slept for about 4 and a half hour then i called wendy.... Luckily last night my side was full so no admittion but got a lot of puff and hood to give, so tiring.... Met Wendy at douby daut mrt and we walk to orchard... So sad, i hit something and my specs broke... gona miss my specs cos it is nice.... Anyway gona go... really exhausted

2006-04-25T21:38:00.000+08:00

On 19th and 20th April, was working night shift with Fauziah.... Luckily both night the Hos is nice. First night was Dr Chew and second night was Dr Cynthia.... Luckily both night was not busy. But after the second night shift, think one of my patient bp was a little low, then my junior forgotten to update only then Dr Lee KP made a big fuss over it.. We tried explaning to the morning shift but no use... He demanded us to write a memo...

Yesterday got two new Hos. Dr Chew so mean. Say nurses always bully docs then point to me, telling them especially me.... Hope he was only joking ba... Then dunno wat we talk, he suddenly ask me when my night shift, i told him thurs and fri, then he say is his post night... Too bad...

Today actually was a fine day at work, then around 12 plus to 1, my bed 2 got low bp. Then did a portable chest xray... Luckily everything was ok.... Then after that my bed 7 who is nnj got low bp.... Then did LP and blood culture .... Poor Lynn, was inside there for so long.......Sigh...Hope our night shift on thurs and fri will be a peaceful one

Hertic Day :(

2006-04-03T23:30:00.000+08:00

Today was a very terrible day. Firstly bed 9 condition not too good, then send her down to ct scan and straight away send to HD. Luckily got Dr Cynthia help me push the bed down and the two nyp students....Went back to the ward around 11.30....... Spent two hrs downstairs...

Then something else happened... Fara never prepare the iv plug properly then i kanna scold by Mo Lee kai peng... Really very sad cos he should at least find out who is the one and not anyhow scold me.... I Really broke down..... Dr Cynthia and Crystal consoled me and Cynthia even bought me a drink... So nice of her... Too bad is her last day in my ward.... Gonna miss her alot cos she is a good HO.....

Went back quite late because i had a difficult time calling the 2d eco regarding my patient appointment...... Finally manage to get through....... After tat i help to assist Dr Cynthia for blood taking..... i hope can get to see her around in future.......

Really might break down real soon

2006-03-23T22:11:00.000+08:00

It has been ages since i last posted... Quite alot of things happened but i am too tired to post... Today was a busy day for me... One of the patient need plasma transfusion.. As this is my first time doing it, i was very blurred...Luckily got Agnes who is willing to teach me...

Then after my lunch, another patient need to insert long line... I was in the treatment room for 1 and a half hrs but in the end the doc couldn manage to do it... sigh... Then another doc came at 2pm when we are going to pass report... Today i think i really very stressed up, the way i pass report to the afternoon shift i also feel bad....

As for yesterday, reached the ward rather early... Sister tan ask me to go in and talk to her...Luckily i finally passed my probation... i was really happy when she said that .... I will continue to work hard

2006-02-19T21:14:00.000+08:00

Today i don need to work...Thought of asking him out but i guess he is busy with his studies...Since i told him tat thing last time, we seldom keep in touch anymore, perhaps is quite a sensitive issue....Duno why i so brave to tell him tat...... Sigh.... Last saw him was on 8th of jan i think, kinda miss him.........Hope one day we will go see the little gal which we dote on alot soon......

Yesterday was quite a fine day for me at work cos i only got one patient for discharge but my junior is terrible.... One of the patient require two staff to help to bathe.... She asked me to help her, i wanted to then suddenly another mother ask me to go feed the child through ng tube.... The aunty said she dont mind helping so i quickly go and feed the child which requires ng tube feeding... When she came out, she is not happy with me and said i never help her at all.... Somemore she told other collegues that is she who ask me to feed the child, which is nt true at all...Since she know tat she haven finish her stuff, she shouldn have went for 1 hr break......sigh...

2006-01-30T23:18:00.000+08:00

Today noticed one of my patient was not in bed...Asked the morning shift staff, she say the patient was brought down by the parents...I thought everything was ok but then i find it odd how come the boy was not around in the ward... So i started to call the parent... then the dad told me he bought the child home...sigh...

The parent keep telling me that he promised to bring the child back but never... Daojing help me call and say if the parent don bring the child now, we will inform the police. One hr later , i called him again. He told me tat they are still at home... So in the end, Unit sister called him up and say if he still nt here one hr later, the matter will get worse... The father finally brought the child back to the ward at 9.00pm...sigh.....

On the way home, on bus 851, dunno got wat thing happened.then the bus driver stop at the police station near kk for about 15 mins....Think is about a drunkard passenger on the bus....

Sigh...Today was a unlucky day for me.... Never went for break because of that problem... Actually it is not even my fault at all but i got to write incident report...Learn t a great lesson today.... Always check my patients to make sure they are there before taking the report.... Hopefully this will not cause me to extend my probation... keeping my fingers cross...

2006-01-15T00:11:00.000+08:00

Just came back from Stefanie Sun's concert.... First time le...haha... Accompany my good friend, Wendy to watch..... Quite nice... the songs and atmosphere there are wonderful... Hmm came home about 11.45pm... Surprisingly my parents never called me on my hp.... i thought they were out but when i reached home, they are in......hehe....

Called Kevin on the 12th jan cos i was rather sad.... tried calling his hp but not on then i called his home... we just chat a while only then he say he need to hang up... Hai.... i just hope our friendship wont be because of wat i told him then changed.... anyway wish him good luck in his studies

Happy Day... saw him agian...

2006-01-08T20:58:00.000+08:00

Today went out with Kevin again... Been about 2 months never seen him already... Actually he wanted to go bowling today but i was quite broke so i sms him asking him whether he mind watching movie instead? Then perhaps after chinese new year then we go bowling... So glad he dont mind...

Met up with him at 2.15pm at causeway point... We headed to movies, which in turn watch Family Stone.... It was a nice movie...hehe...After that we went for dinner and in the end walk around the place... Actually thought of going to play pool de, but in the end found out they have shifted so never get to play, thought can get to learn to play pool from him.Perhaps next time.....We headed to arcade, so a guy trying his best to catch a soft toy for his daughter...Hopefully he did managed to catch it.... Went home about 7.30pm.....

Hope he wont feel bored today.... Really enjoyed his company........Hope we will go out soon again.......

2005-12-22T22:35:00.000+08:00

Today my off day , but dunno why i keep taking nap, think i too tired lately...Haha...Tonight no need to sleep liao.....Went j8 for a while to buy kevin present......

While waiting for the bus there, Kevin sms me saying thanks for the birthday card...I replied saying that i haven send yet and on the way to buy... He say it weird cos only i have his address ... i say maybe his classmates send de but he say no one got his address except me... And tat the card never even write any name on it.... Guess he got a secret admirer.....Good for him lor, since he is a nice guy... Anyway hope he will like the birthday present which i got for him

Heart broken!!!

2005-10-27T23:45:00.000+08:00

Today Nicholas called me, at first i thought we can chat very nicely but suddenly he told me he want a pause in everything...... He also been trying to contact me alot of time yesterday night cos he been slapped by his mum when he told her he got gf..... I felt so bad..... When i saw his sms, i wanted to call back but scared he sleep already...... When he put down is really sad, after by which i tried calling him and smsing but nothing works.......... sigh......... Guess this is the saddest day in my life cos he mean alot to me also....

2005-09-30T18:35:00.000+08:00

Yesterday and today was a terrible day.... Dunnoe what happened to me lately? Yesterday made some medication errors....Luckily at my ward de we need to double sign..... hmm is either i sign at the wrong place or i prepare the medication when it is not time yet....Went home and called Djoko, he can hear that i was very unhappy and he keep asking me to promise him not to cry anymore....Ask him to meet on friday but he seem so reluntant but in the end we agree to meet on sat

Today, things got even worse.....Yenling gave me from bed 19 to 32.......about 16 patients each...She was my junior, suppose to do practical etc..... Alot of things happened today and i feel so sad till i really broke down in the ward.... hope she dun blame me ba cos she kanna said by sister tan also...

2005-09-28T21:35:00.000+08:00

Today went to herbal chicken with my parents near my mum working place....Haha.very nice to eat...Then later we went to Imm to shop.....Half way, i received a call from Djoko home, i thought i accidently call his house so i quickly put down... Actually is he call de.... Quite concident cos i never hear the phone ringing and i just took my phone to see whether got miss call or sms but tat was the time he call...

Got the nokia 6680 today...Bought at 528 dollars ..... kind of regretted .... should have waited for the price to drop first but i got no choice , my 8250 really got problem...
When i reached home, i called Djoko ...Can really see that he still miss his ex alot...Hope they patch up....

2005-09-21T22:40:00.000+08:00

Yesterday got two missed call from Djoko.... So sad, i did not get to talk to him because i slept very very early yesterday which is quite a miricle...........

Hmm today when i was on the bus to work, i already feel quite unwell then later on when listening to the morning shift pass report, i feel faint and almost want to collapse already then i cry also dunno why....... In the end about at night then recover ........dunno what happening to my health.......

Anyway i called back Djoko today.......Though it is quite short time but i truely enjoy talking to him

2005-09-20T17:45:00.000+08:00

Today one of my patient who is dm hypocount quite high...I went to ask the HO whether can serve the morning tea or not...He say to omit....I thought it was alrite then later on i found out that we cannot omit..Sigh.......Then another patient fever was 38. someting already...I ask the same HO to change the paracetamol from 6 hrly prn to 4 hrs but he say it ok, no need to change......... After an hr or so, the fever increases, I ask him again ......In the end, he finally changes it......... But when I told sister why i serve at 1pm, He say he already change it.......SIgh........Why he so bad........

Stay back for the assesment till about 5pm.....Sister Sim really alot of things to say.... Almost have medication error today cos i took the wrong iv solution..... Luckily she told me....but i mean she shouldn keep going on about it.......... What bad luck to have her in our ward.....

2005-09-18T23:20:00.000+08:00

Yesterday saw djoko online but he never reply my email nor reply me online in msn...Wonder why...

Today is my off day cum mood cake festival.......Went to grandma house for gathering...Been so long since i went, because of work... Hmm heard from Luoling that she wanted a mp3 player ...Wonder should i buy for her for birthday present.....SIgh... but already promised her already...think this month i must save more on my pay

Any way, today we play with candles under my grandma's block..... Quite fun .......But i wish sometimes i could have that special someone to celebrate with........

Theft in my ward

2005-09-16T23:25:00.000+08:00

Today got the orientation followup thing at 3.30pm so didnt get to be in charged today..... so they put me junior from bed 1 to bed 18.....

After i went back to the ward, that guy from nus de told me today is their last day there... So i ask him for his msn and friendster....When he told me he seldom use de, i thought of not asking him to write.....but in the end, he also wrote...

Left the ward about 10.20pm today, cos someting happened....... One of the patient's mother lost her wallet consisting of 600 plus dollars and her hp........She cried and the police came..... She told us that the ite student, Angeline ask her to go and wash her face, she will help look after the child.... While other beds relatives told me that they saw her going in..... It quite odd as within ten minutes, the aunty things was lost...... And one of my collegue saw that gal left very fast..........

We tried calling the ite lecturer to ask for her number, she said dont have.....And when we tried calling again, she had already off her phone.......SIgh.......WHy the lecturer only side with her students........

Dont like to suspect anyone but hope tat person will have his or her own revenge soon....... That aunty also shouldnt have brought so much money in the first place........Not A good day today.....

2005-09-14T19:50:00.000+08:00

Today in charged of 2 cubicles again, kinda very stressed up.... one of my patient supposed to go for renal ultrasound, i didnt know about it then kana scolded by sister s.. luckily the HO help me and told her that it is his fault for not writing down.........

Then today pass report to tat sn c........ again........ sigh.... She ask me how come nv do tg dressing for a patient...but his blister dry already so no need........ then i ask sister again she also say no need then she convinced .......hai.....

Supposed to be off tomolo but they called me back to work and i be off on sunday ....... Not that bad..... Vincent if u happen to read my blog, i am sorry for always asking u for ur help in contacting Djoko.....hope u still treat me as a friend.........

He Hang up on me again.....sigh....

2005-09-13T22:30:00.000+08:00

Called him just now about 9pm...... At first we talk very nicely, but he like keep wanting to hang up.......then i ask him why tat day he share ice cream with me, he say there nothing wrong wat....... hai. i thought i have a chance but guess not....... after that i tried calling him again but he dun pick up....why must he take me for granted......... Hope he reply my email soon

2005-09-13T16:05:00.000+08:00

First day in charged of two cubicles....Qilin became my junior...HEhe... She really helped me alot... teaches me things.... Out of 12 patients, got 6 patients discharged today.....supposed to be 7 de but the cute baby , the doc say observe one more day so maybe tomolo go home....Hopefully tomolo can have the chance to feed the baby again...

When passing report to tat SN C..... one patient transfer down from ward 75 yesterday, she ask me when the uroshearth is due to change, i not sure cos they didnt pass wat... then i kanna scolded from her........ sigh......she think she very big or wat.......Arent staff supposed to help each other........Why must she be so proud and selfish.......

After the shift, i went home with Qilin..... she so nice, she took cab home and give me a ride near her home...then i take 410 back....... wanted to pay her back but she refused......... Anyway really appreciate her kindness and help......... signing off now......tata

Tiring day!!!

2005-09-12T23:20:00.000+08:00

Today because lack of juniors then i am assigned to 3 cubicles from bed 1 to bed 18. Luckily got two ite students to help me.... One of the nus student very cute... he ask me isit very busy? haha... perhaps he saw tats why... When i answered yes, he tell me must remember to eat hor .... Nice guy.... Dont mind making friends with him ... too bad, he never ask...HAha... friendly guy who always smile one when he saw me....

Almost 9.30pm, then the night shift staff ask who do junior for bed 2 there.... Then i realised bed 2 guy make a big mess... he did his business there and make the whole mess. When i ask for help , no one free to help...Luckily in the end, when i cleared everything, one of the staff came and help me with the bedsheet.... Sigh........Wat a tiring day it is..........

New hairstyle

2005-06-18T23:30:00.000+08:00

From today onwards, Jeffrey will not be my friend anymore....... He can say my friend is son of bitch etc.....He damm childish lor....... Will never ever forgive him in my life.......

Today, Wendy accompanied me go to rebond my hair... Kind of find it weird cos the person cut fringe...but overall it is quite nice...But it took 3 hrs of sitting there......haha...dunno why in the world i go rebond......

Tried calling Andy twice with my hp but he never answer...... Back at bishan interchange, i decided to use a pay phone to call Andy up......When tat person answer, i ask him dun put down, then i tink He recognise my voice as i heard my name ...He quickly say tat he is shawn, Andy's friend...Hai...DUNNO how true isit....as they sound so much a like ........ Could it be him? hai... anyway Andy called me back from another number within about 10 mins ........But too bad, my hp low batt so the phone was cut off.... I tried calling back the number and it was Alexendra Hospital number again so i decided to ask Staff nurse, Yenting for help.....So concidence that Andy is back to the ward, bed 21......Thinking hard whether should i go visit him tomolo.......Hope can gain back him tis friend....

Worried...

2005-06-17T22:45:00.000+08:00

I called Andy up at 8pm but he did not picked up then after a while i got a sms from his hp saying that tat is shawn, his frend who took his hp back home by mistake.....Wonder if it is true.... i ask him which hospital Andy is in but he dun wan to say...then say andy be in hospital for quite long...Wonder what happened to him, quite worried for him....Hope Andy will call me again soon....

Surprised...

2005-06-17T18:56:00.000+08:00

Off my hp from 4.25pm to about 5.25pm.... When i on my hp , was quite surprised to receive sms from Andy asking me whether i want to visit him in hospital and calleralert which displayed his number.... But when i sms him back asking which hospital he is in and what happened to him, he did not reply at all........Hai.....Is he testing me again or do he still treat me as a frend? I really feel very happy when i receive his sms but i rather wish he wont sms or call me if he dun bother to reply at all....sigh.......Hope he will be alright

2005-06-16T19:59:00.000+08:00

Today is my friend, Andy's 21st birthday... sms him and forward him a picture msg .....but he did not reply.Guess he is still mad at me ba..... Hai........Really miss going out with him and chatting with him this friend.... i wish that my sms did not made him angry or sad as today should be his happy day...Hope he enjoy his birthday and may all his wishes come true

2005-06-10T12:51:00.000+08:00

Didnt had a good sleep yesterday and was woken up by Wendy's call at 9am........ Had a terrible dream again.... I dreamt that i saw Andy at a libray....didnt really want to approach him and i notice him looking at me in a weird way.....i managed to build up my courage and go talk to him, but he still seem sad and seem to be avoiding me.... Terrrible dream it was , i hope wont come true lor.......Kind of miss him and going out with him..........

Overall the interview today went well........The interviewer was very nice and very friendly........Thankfully she never ask alot of questions..........hehe.........At around 6 plus, someone from kk called again, she told me about the salary etc......... and say tat a person will called me up on monday to go down and sign the form....yippes.......i am so happy.....but kind of worried to start working as a staff nurse

KK Finally Called

2005-06-09T19:00:00.000+08:00

I had a dream which is i dreamt that Yuxiu sms me saying kk dun need people liao and wont hired any more people... So when i woke up, i quickly sms her whether it is true then she say no...Then i realised that i worried too much....

Nothing much to do today, so i decided to go and send my application form to Mount Alvernia Hospital and later on went to Toa Payoh to borrow books to read.... When i reached my house downstairs, i received a call...And it is from kk hospital, asking me to go down for interview tomolo.....I was like so happy.........Hope i wont screwed up my interview tomolo at 4pm.......

2005-06-08T11:18:00.000+08:00

Quite a happy day for me, never expected my dad to buy a mp3 player for me .... Some more is ipod mini silver de.... very nice...Hehe...... figuring out how to use now........ YEAH.... no need to waste my money to buy myself a mp3 player liao.....hehe........

2005-06-05T23:50:00.000+08:00

Today went grandma house to celebrate her birthday...Nothing much to do there... just watch tv thats all... Luoling younger bro did not go cos he went china for dunno what competition... Ate so much stuff today... hehe.the birthday cake was ice cream cake.... Its the first time they bought ice cream cake and it is famous within kids...most of them ask for 2nd helping...hehe....
Hai, wat makes me angry today is my mum very biased de... i just took her digital camera to take a few pictures and yet she scolded me and nag at me so much whereas my younger brother can use her digital camera wherever he wants...Hai... it is so unfair... got to end now..tata

Unhappy day

2005-04-19T14:49:00.000+08:00

Today early in the morning, got the sms of my results... very sad... did not do well at all although everything passed.... Someting happened at attachment today.....

Today working under SN Tong.. She is very nice... but sian SN phyllis is the flow ter today.... kanna scolded by her for nothing... the year one student wanted to push the patient to the toilet.. as she is very scared and not sure whether she can push the patient alone or not..she ask me for help... As we were waiting outside the toilet for tat patient... That sn scolded me and ask why need two people there and say i should be doing wat the sn is supposed to do... I told her that the year one gal not sure and because the patient is supposed to be complete rest in bed de... although he is young but his plalets is only 28 leh... What if someting happened to him... Besides i am also in charged of him... hai... Then she say wanted to test me dressing.... Then in the end say ask me to be tested by miss goh... But in the end the ite student did liao....

After that when miss goh came i told her wat happened... Anyway that sn any how say i nv do basic care for the patients which is not true... she came in at 10am.... What did she see.... hai.... Think she is the sister pet then can any how say things which are not true.......I hate her

Its been so long...

2005-04-16T19:15:00.000+08:00

Yesterday Wendy called me and ask me go run and play badminton in nyp today... As usual she is late again, but this time i really very grateful to her if not i wont have a chance to see him...While i was waiting for her at yck mrt, i saw him coming out... Couldnt really believe my eyes but yes, it is him... Guess he must be helping out in the shs orientation ba... Happy that i can get a chance to see him again after the last time when it was exams period... Hope he is getting on fine and happy...

After that i went to my dentist for routine checkup. He dont seem very friendly like last time. When i ask the receptionist, she told me that the dentist is sick... No wonder... after that we proceed our way to raffles city and suntec....

Sian saw that person i dont like to see at suntec... He thinks he very good like tat... keep cursing i be single... his gf is also not pretty wat... still so mean......hai.. At 3.30pm, we proceed to raffles city... saw tat slyverster sim is having autograph session... SO many young gals went to support him... Even wendy told me she change her impression of him.... haha......so odd...

anyway i really hope i can see him again in my life and just wish to be frends but it is so hard to make my wish come true

BaD Day

2005-03-25T20:59:00.000+08:00

Hmm today once i wake up, feel very giddy and having a bad headache... Perhaps because yesterday night i slept at 3 am ba.... HahA..... Whole day at home never go out, dont have any mood to go out at all..........

Finally i noe who is the gal that he like already and how she look like? Saw his testimonial for her, so long and nice.... That gal look quite pretty leh...Dunnoe why Vincent and my friend say not so pretty... Dunno understand..... I got to learn to give up but i really hope my wish of knowing him more as a friend will come true.... Be praying for him to be happy always and wish that one day he will get his wish to be with tat gal he loves...

Something quite meaningful

2005-03-24T23:50:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, in our relentless efforts to find the person we love we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us. We miss out on so many beautiful things and simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns. Go for the man of deeds and not for the man of words for you will find rewarding happiness not with the man you love but the man who loves you more.

The best lovers are those who are capable of loving from a distance, far enough to allow the other person to grow, but never too far to feel the love deep within your being. To let go of someone doesn't mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but it is also setting yourself free from all bitterness, hatred, and anger that is kept in your heart.

Do not let the bitterness lure away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you, but rather let yourself grow with wisdom in bearing it. You may find peace in just loving someone from a distance not expecting anything in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past but real peace and happiness comes only with open acceptance of what reality is today.

There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon becomes a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions.

The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just friendship. We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves.

You don't have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself.
Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving. Don't let your heart run your life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well.

Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow: If you lose love that doesn't mean that you failed in love. Cry, if you have to, but make sure that the tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past as left you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you. And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime

2005-03-24T23:28:00.000+08:00

Today marks the last day of exams in poly and last day in school... Will definately miss Nyp alot, those familiar faces especially him cum lecturers.... Dunnoe will there ever a chance for me to see him every again. Hope there is fate. Really wish that he can be happy and that gal he like will accept him one day.... Today paper which i was hoping to do well turn out bad. For saq , i dun really noe how to do and the mcqs are quite trickly... Everything went blank for the saq... Duno what is wrong with me....MY aim of A or B for this module is gone....Hai.

After that , went to watch the movie "Son Of The Mask" with Yuxiu.....Ha, i treat her again..... A very nice show which i really think u all should watch... Some parts are really very funny, a good movie to cheer someone up......... Got to go... Monday prcp already, very worried...cya

2005-03-22T22:23:00.000+08:00

Today is 3034 exam, hai, die liao cos cant do the paper at all... Really hope wont get sub paper... Dunnoe why cant remember anything at all, really very sad... Hmm saw Qinzhi today on my way to school, he very funny. Ask me how come huimin got boyfriend already and yet i dun have. Haha, think so easy to find one meh? Leave it to fate ba...Read my friend's friend's blog and found something quite nice.

CRY:

If a gal cries in front of u,it means dat she couldnt take it anymore.If u take her hand,she would stay with u 4 de rest of ur life;If u let her go, she couldnt go back 2 being herself anymore.
A gal wont cry easily,xcept in front of de person who she love de most,she becomes weak.
A gal wont cry easily,only wen she love u de most,she put down her ego.
Guys, if a gal cries bcoz of u,please hold her hands firmly,she's the one who would stay with u 4 de rest of ur life.
Guys, if a gal cries bcoz of u,please dont give her up,maybe bcoz of ur decision,u ruin her life.
When she cry rite infrnt of u,When she cry bcoz of u,Look into her eyes,Can u see n feel de pain n hurt she's feelin?Think.
Which other girl have cried wif pure sincerity,Infront of u, And bcoz of u?She cry not because she is weak,She cry not bcoz she wan sympathy or pity,She cry, Because cryin silently is no longer possible,De pain,hurt,n agony hav bcome 2 big a burden 2 b kept inside.
Guys,Think about it,If a gal cry her heart out 2 u,And all because of u,Its time 2 look back on wat u hav done,Only u will know de answer 2 it.
Do consider it,Coz one day,It may b 2 late 4 regrets,It may b 2 late 2 say "im sorry".

Got to go now. Need to prepare for the last paper. Hope to do well...

2005-03-11T20:32:00.000+08:00

Today suppose to start lesson at 10.10 but i got to wake up so early today... Woke up around 6.30am today, then after that rush my way down to AH because that time posting at ot, the sister forgot to sign her signiture. hai. first time nver check and i accounted this thing... Dunnoe why i so blur........ Hmm when i reach there, i saw Sze Min, haha almost cant recognise him liao, maybe because he wear quite smart tat time... Waited for the sister for 30 to 40 mins ba......... She ar, see me then say how come i so poor thing, she forgot to sign..... somemore there is also another sister who double check the book....... Argh........ HA, then quickly rush my way down to nyp.........Luckily not late la......

When i went to find miss tan ching hong to give her my diary , miss cynthia hosey say how come i still so skinny. haha. she still remember me........ went to watch the movie a series of unfortunate events with my cousin, Luoling...... Think that the show is not too bad la......quite a nice show. got to go..bye

2005-03-04T22:40:00.000+08:00

One week didnt update my blog already. Lets see wat had been going on these few days. This week supposed to be break week for us but too bad got to go for ot posting as my vtp for ot posting was cancelled as AH ot was having renovation. Finally the posting was over as i cant really stand the coldness in there, but i learnt quite alot of things there and seen many different cases. Got back clinical diary today, quite sad cos the sister gives everyone of us 65 out of 100. Quite low. Exams timetable will be out this coming monday. Hope there will still be some time to study because this week no time to study at all......Hai........

Didnt go online for a week or so already. Dunnoe what makes me not to go anymore, maybe find it too bored or wat.. Haha, not sure also. Hmmm had been thinking alot since last week, i dont dare to wish for much now, just hope that i and him can become good friends. This is my wish, wonder will it every happened?? Anyway will be always praying for him and hoping that the gal he like will accept him soon so that he will be happy

2005-02-26T21:32:00.000+08:00

Yesterday the presentation for Patricia Chan module was quite alright. Got a B... Not too good, just average ba... First time i doing presentation not feeling nervous, quite happy. Hope it will get better. Even Kim and Theresa say that i improve alot from my usual way of presenting, become more confident........

Saw him when i going out of the tutorial room, but never say hi to each other. Hmm i really hope can be a friend who can get to communicate with him. Thats all i wish now.. Really hope it will be possible.

Today wanted to go for the sgh talk one but cant seem to wake up... Msg Yuxiu and ask her want to watch Constantine or not and say i treat her........ Overall the show was quite nice... aiyo, Yuxiu slept in the cinema, dunno is it because she dun like this kind of show or wat... Sian monday got to go ot posting........ got to go. bye

2005-02-24T22:12:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, i was directing my msn nick at him and if i am not wrong, he is also directing his nick at me. Suddenly he msg me in msn saying that seriously we need to talk... At first i thought of not replying but i called vincent, he say tat i should tok things out with him. Vincent, if u seeing this blog, i really appreciate ur help in listening to my problems. Really thanks alot. Back to the conversation, he ask me what i mean by my nick: just want to be ur friend, wanting another chance. I try explaining to him and i ask if he avoiding me etc. Though he say no but it is quite obvious la. I also explain things to him that i never ask other people about him. Really hope he will believe lor and treat me as a friend. Dont want to think of anything any more , just hope to know him better as a friend and wish he will not avoid me....

Today in the morning, we was talking outside ltk before our lecture. Azhar ask me if i am bonded . I said no. Then he say maybe i can go kk to work cos i got ped looks. Haha. Do i really look like a kid or wat? I might want to work at kk next time cos i love kids and babies alot but i think i want to work at those general ward first before going kk. GOT to go.. Hope things between me and him will get better

2005-02-22T22:21:00.000+08:00

Today, wear sleeveless shirt and skirt to school... So weird because alot of people either say look sexy or look nice... haha, maybe they think first time i wear sleeveless shirt ba... hai, after his lecture when i am waiting to go in ltk, i saw him come out and straight away is avoiding me. Really got no idea at all why...

Shu hui told me that darius ask her whether i got alot of network etc. Then say wat i ask alot of people about him but actually i nv. i only ask once which is i told my frend tat he got gf but my frend go and ask his good friend. Hai. i wish he find out the truth before accusing me...

i call vincent about 11pm. We talk about our problem.. hai, he admitted that he know who i like already since a very long time ago. but i dun blame him at all. got to go. feel very sad now.

really a sad day for me

2005-02-21T23:18:00.000+08:00

Hai, his msn nick put he is in a relationship.. really very upset, maybe is time to give up liao... hai. The gal is very lucky to have him as a boyfriend... All the best to him...... Think tonight i wont have a good sleep.......

2005-02-19T21:30:00.000+08:00

Today whole day never go out, stay at home trying to fix computer cos got problem but in the end after a few hours still cant fix it.... Then got to reformat computer, was very sad as all my files, photos and songs all deleted...... After reformatting the computer , then the internet connection got problem. Luckily , my younger bro fixed it... Hai, dunno wat they did to the computer till it cant even go window explorer etc...... If i got money, i will buy my own computer.... Whole day nv eat , a bit hungry now..... Got to go cook maggie mee. Byebye

2005-02-18T12:30:00.000+08:00

Early in the morning i was awaken by my dad. HAI, just because he don wan me and my bro to rush for the bathroom at the same time. He might as well wake my bro up first. Sian.. Reach school at about 7.55am, saw pony outside ltk so decided to sit with her there. Hmm i walk past him when i am on my way to MAC to find something, same thing happen again...

While i am going in to ltk1 for lecture, i saw him and a friend of ours together. Knowing that he wont say hi to me one so i decided to greet the friend instead. Hmm if i am not wrong , he said hi back but i not too sure la, cos i was already on my way down to my seat when i heard the hi...

Hopefully today presentation will be fine.... Tats all .....

Ha. First time wearing skirt to school

2005-02-15T19:57:00.000+08:00

Supposingly today lesson start at 12, but went to school at 10am for grp discussion for this thursday presentation.... aiyo, thursday presentating already and we still do not have much information. Stress sia....

Haha, today first time wearing skirt to school. Some of my friends say very nice but i do not think so. Hopefully no one laugh at me la.... Saw him today when i going out of lecture, but never tok to each other again. Just like complete stranger. HAI. Really hope to know him better before we graduated... Got to go. bye

First time skipping lecture... no choice...

2005-02-14T12:25:00.000+08:00

Today suppose to have group discussion at 12 then about 11 i got a sms from one of my grp member, saying tat the meeting had changed to 3pm instead which means that i got to miss a lecture. Hai, really cant stand them sometimes as they always inform people at the last min one. Finally we meet at 3pm, then discuss finished. Just got to know that today presentation is not ours, if i noe, i wont miss the lecture already. Hai.....somemore i dun really understand this module one....

Saw him today, at first was very happy but when we walk past each other, there is no hi... It is as though we are complete strangers. I really wish to know him better but how to.... It is not really easy to know him... I wish there is a miracle.......

2005-02-13T22:28:00.000+08:00

Actually yesterday polam ask me whether today i am free or not as she has a gathering in her house. But too bad, today got grp discussion for tomolo presentation in school. When i reached school, feel rather scared as it is very quiet...... Hai, find so much information on medication errors and they want to change to falls.. Feel so frustrated... It lasts about two hours or so.........

Just called one of my grp mate, then they change the thing back to medication errors, i very angry already cos they never inform me at all and i keep finding for information on falls for them.......Hai....... Hope tomolo presentation will be fine....... YEAH... he is back from attachment. Hopefully tomolo can see him ......... Happy v day to everyone in advance........

First day of Chinese New Year

2005-02-09T16:34:00.000+08:00

Early in the morning, i received a sms from my friend saying that the prcp posting of hospital is out so i quickly go and check.. Very disappointed because i be going to AH for prcp while he is going to Nuh... Hai, shattered my hopes.. Is it really fated that i cant get to know him better. Left afew more weeks in school already, i really hope i can get to know him better and not be strangers anymore... Thats my wish now...

Went my grandma house today... Two of my aunts say tat i change alot .. haha. Just because i wear dress ..... They say nice but i don think so... haha. me so ugly.... I went home first at 10pm because my parents and bros are playing majong at there...

So sway, the bus 88 broke down halfway, then have to wait for another one..... reached home at 11.15pm.........

Not a very happy day for me today....... I wish somehow he will know that someone wish that he can be happy forever

2005-02-02T04:08:00.000+08:00

Hmm early in the morning, when on the bus to school, the bus driver crazy one, anyhow say wat i use is children one.. When i stop at yio chu kang , scan out the card also 63 cents wat... really feel like walking up to the driver and scold him but i did not.... Hai, he really spoil my day....

During lecture, Shuhui told me that the guy that i like, his good friend ask her whether i got boyfriend or not... Find it very weird leh... cos her classmate dunno me at all... is it he scared that i still like his friend or wat... Hai... both guys ask this questions... very odd... anyway so long never see hiim already, hope he is enjoying his attachment now...

Combination of wednesday and thursday...

2005-01-27T22:26:00.000+08:00

Yesterday while waiting for Yu Qian at toa payoh mrt there, there is a scene... Though i not sure about what the arguement about becos i dont understand the dialet spoken... Think i can roughly guess wat it is ....
There is a lady who already took the todays paper, and she went to quene up again for it... Then the man giving out the papers was not happy and started argueing with her and refuse to give her another one... Hai, cant understand the man also, what for quarrel... maybe the lady want to take another for her friends or relatives wat.... Hai......

Today when we supposed to go home, we took the wrong bus... Was suppose to take a bus to yishun mrt but we took 965 instead...Got really worried... Haha.. but luckily we manage to stop at admirity mrt... The place there seem quite nice...Got mac etc....

Later around 3.15pm, i went to j8 to meet my friend to walk walk.......Think i saw him........ because there are also some people from his lecture hall...... Dunno did i see wrongly or not or is it i miss him too much already....hehe... Got to go... bye

2005-01-25T20:30:00.001+08:00

Yesterday was the first day of home nursing posting...we had 8 cases... Mainly we only get to observe... Ended quite early at about 1.15pm reach home around 2.15pm......Though quite happy can go home early but alot of travelling to be done and waste of our own bus fare money....

Today only have 5 cases as the staff nurse took half day off....... ended at 12pm.......nothing much happened...... got to go.... I miss him..... so long never seen him already... Yeah today bought a pink skirt at u2 at j8.... Really like it alot...... but quite expensive... 39 dollars....... Now wondering what colour shirt can be suitable for pink skirt...

2005-01-22T23:00:00.000+08:00

Today met wendy at around 2.30pm at j8.... She came over to change the size for her dress.. Hehe... Then we proceed to this fashion in payar labar... Bought a shirt and a skirt.... About 25 dollars..... She feel very upset because none of the shirt suits her and those she like, do not have her size...... After that, we went to shop at bugis...... Haha.. when we are in OG, she managed to find a pair of shoes which she really like... The shoes really very comfortable.. Too bad i already bought my new year shoes, if not i might get tat too...Reached home about 9pm like tat...... saw my parents downstairs and came up together with them.... Sian, tonight they staying over my fourth aunt house to play majong...

2005-01-20T23:15:00.000+08:00

Yeah today last day of attachment for this week... No need to see Miss Lim Siew Hong anymore... Really dun like her at all....... Today was quite a relaxing day for us... We work from 7am to 10am then we went for break for half an hour then we went for a talk till one...... When we went back to the ward is already 1.30pm........ Hai, got back the clinical diary, she gave me the lowest marks which is only 60 out of 100....... Very disappointed..... This is the lowest marks i got for the whole three years... somemore her remarks is so bad...... Really dislike her......Hope i wont see her in nyp and during prcp

Terrible day...

2005-01-18T23:31:00.000+08:00

Today was a horrible day, Miss Lim ask me so many questions, made me almost cry but luckily i managed to hold on to my tears... so she really hate me so much, hai... When we are going home, she say she want to see me individually tomolo... very worried cos i very scared of her...Hai, one of my friend go tell her that i scared of her, when she ask, i quickly say no....

When i went back to sch, i saw her and she say that i can never escape frm her, This really made me very frightened... What is she going to do to me at all... hai...... was hoping to see him but never managed to... nothing much to blog... bye

2005-01-17T22:17:00.000+08:00

First day of posting in geron ward in AH... Early in the morning when saw miss lim siew hong, i thought she was only in charged of the accelerated students but later at the end of the day, i found out that she was also in charged of us...

Today was quite tiring, did alot of stuff... the accelerated gals like never really do things one... Hai... They really think they like staff nurses like tat.... So proud...

About 3pm we had a meeting with Miss Lim , she keep asking whether i have changed etc... cos i year one tat time i very shy and she also say i very soft spoken... Aiyo, she ask a question and ask me to ans but i dun really noe it... Jia lat, she ask me go and find out and want to see me tomolo....

Luckily she told us that we do not need to do a case study but very stress sia, she say that she will test us on our patients and give us a lot of questions... Hope i can be able to ans her....

Kind of miss him already.... Imagine one month wont be able to get to see him becos after that he will be having his mental health posting .... Hope he will be happy

2005-01-16T21:22:00.000+08:00

Today catch up with one of my primary school friend , Wendy... Hehe. So long never see her already... Met her at j8 then we went to shop for her new year clothes. Surprisingly we shopped about 5 to 6 hours there.. Never did i expect j8 can walk so long one... haha...

Ceresa also went j8 with her friend today but never had a chance to see her... Anyway when i sms her, she was on the train already... Help her to ask about the price of a hp she looking out for... Quite happy to do someting for a friend....

HA, today dunno what is wrong with me... first time wearing sleeveless shirt out to shopping and also wear a skirt... haha.. dun seem to be like me becos i always wear jeans one... too bad still no guts to wear skirt to school... tomolo is attachment day.. sian.. Cant see W...... for one month already... Think i will miss him alot... Byebye

2005-01-15T22:15:00.000+08:00

Yesterday thought wont be able to see him because our tutorial lecturer let us off late.. So when the lecturer let us off, me and may quickly rush down as it is almost 10.10am already... When I was waiting to scan my card, i saw one one wearing yellow tshirt and a black specs, thinking it was him but not too sure as i saw his side view only....

After lecture, i saw him with the year 3 daniel, so can confirm it is him... Kind of very happy when saw him... After school, i went to ltk there to look for yuxiu as got someting to ask her... I saw him with yr 3 daniel and the guy which i dislike the most... Sian... Wonder why he go home so late as they end their lesson rather early....

This week i am very happy as i managed to see him everyday but too bad wont be seeing him for one month because both of us will be having attachment at different timing.... Really hope he and me can be friends and not strangers... Got to go. bye

Tiring day!!!

2005-01-12T22:13:00.000+08:00

Today lesson at 11am but i was awake at 8am, didnt had a good sleep last night...... Yesterday night there is both sad and good things which happened... He talk to me in msn, i was so happy.... but when he ask me whether have i found myself a boyfriend and say i will find my guy... According to this, i dun think i got any chance anymore but any way i really just wish to see him happy. Really appreciate that he send me tat mtv, really very nice and touching though it is so sad....

Today both lectures are rather boring, luckily the sociology tutorial was quite interesting... saw him today near ltk, though he and me are still strangers, i still feel very happy when i saw him... cant explain why also... Anyway what most important is that he will be always happy. Nothing really matters much.... got to go... byebye

2005-01-07T22:25:00.000+08:00

Today after tutorial, May and me took the stairs down to lecture.While we was almost reaching the 2nd floor, i suddenly fell down... Dunnoe wat is wrong with me also, perhaps thinking about that problem... Think i injured my back and also sprain my ankle ba...cos really very pain........

When we go into Ltk1 there, i saw him.. Wanted to say hi to him but he look away and somemore there is space for him to go out, he purposely dont... He climb over the chairs jus to go out... Hai...... Is he avoiding me ar? i really hope not...Sometimes i really wish to noe what to do... i hope to see him but sometimes feel rather sad as both of us are still like strangers like tat...

Got to go, hope i will not break down as i really cant stand all these anymore..........Have a nice weekend

2005-01-04T21:21:00.000+08:00

Yesterday chat with his classmate in msn, she is a very nice gal... Feeling very down yesterday, told her some of my problems.... Also dunno what makes me tell her.... Hope she dun mind......

Hmm today after the second hr of lecture, while i came out, i saw him toking to a friend. I think he dyed his hair because i only seen him side view only so not too sure.... then i quickly went for my tutorial......
During tutorial we are supposed to form grps for the debate presentation... i feel very sad because no one ask me to be in their grp either because they already have their own grp of friends while those remaining some of them dun like me to join them because i got a probid during presentation and will stutter etc.... but do u all think is fair to just because of that ? Hai, i wondered if they were me , what they will feel.... Is it wrong to be scared etc....

After tutorial i went down , I told one of my china friend from another grp... She understand my situation and because she is also same as me.....Hai..... After his lecture is my lecture, when i went in , he did see me but he still dun say hi to me....... I feel very sad...... Is it really destined that me and him only can be hi bye friend..... Why cant me and him be real friends...Hai.... Only can see him for two weeks before i go attachment already and wont get to see him for one month......

Got to go... Hope he always can be happy...... At least when i see him, i will cheered up abit.dunno why also... BYE

2005-01-03T22:14:00.000+08:00

Today is the first day of school after two months ...... Supposed to start lesson at 2pm but i reach there around 11.45am.... While quening to buy lecture notes, i saw his good friend but never see him.... Feel very sad though.... First lecture is karen tan one, I feel that her lecture very interesting but too bad she is not my tutorial lecturer...... Actually nothing much happened today, but i not in a really good mood...... Hope i can get to see him tomolo because never seen him for two months already... Miss him alot...... Gonna study very hard this semester.........bye everyone